have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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