Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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