This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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