i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
