Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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