why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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