the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
