I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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