is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
