i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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