If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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