Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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