i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I have post one night stand depression
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