Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
