We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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