So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
