What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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