I'm lost and stupid without you.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
