I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
