I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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