wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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