is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
