Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
