Need sex. Gaining weight.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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