I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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