What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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