I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
