So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
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There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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