My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
