By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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