I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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