About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
