Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
