Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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