I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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