i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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