Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
