D3 body, D1 cock
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
