the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And then my night got REAL pukey
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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