I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
