we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
