I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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