You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
