I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
