Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We don't watch enough power rangers
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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