He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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