Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
