im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize