Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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