So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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