There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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