i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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