If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
pray to the hookup gods
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
