I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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