my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is the high leading the old right now
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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