I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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