Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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