i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
