fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she looked like the before picture.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
