the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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