Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
