your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Come on in and take your pants off
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