apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We need to get me chipped asap
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
