So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
