I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
